I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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