Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
