So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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