Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize