My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
