I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
