If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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