ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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