The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Floor bacon is actually really good
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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