Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
