I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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