Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
