i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
