is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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