I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
