Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
