Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
