I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
