naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
that may or may not have been my penis.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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