At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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