She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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