I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
