soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
