He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
