it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
