I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Its about making memories worth repressing
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
