just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I don't deserve a penis
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
