That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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