Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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