I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
