i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
