I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
