Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
