i think i have herpe
just one?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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