Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
