My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
