dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
