I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
