she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
