Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize