I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize