you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
