I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
