just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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