Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
