Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
