so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
