I'm drive I can fine osifer
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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