In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
