My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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