im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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