so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
