oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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