Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
