He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
