Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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