Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
