its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
