I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
