i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
