You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
