Plan B is the new Plan A
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
