I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
